A Better Life

It's been a really long time since I have posted anything. I guess I haven't found the time, because I am not at a lack of things to say. Since my last post, Matthew has done some amazing things. I sometimes forget to rejoice in the accomplishments he is making because I just get too caught up in the busy pace of life.

Matthew turned 2 in June. I thought he would be walking by age 2, but not quite. Maybe 2 1/2? A week before his birthday, he became very sick. Every time we did a feeding he would throw up. After an entire Saturday of this I knew something was wrong and took him to the ER in Bentonville. I won't take this time for details but it was not a good experience and I won't ever go there again. By Monday, it had continued and I took him to his Dr. He was admitted to the hospital in Fayetteville- amazing! highly recommend Fayetteville hospital. The short story is that he was there a week.

They found an intestinal blockage and worked it out. A special thanks to Chad, Lindsey, Erin, and Mike for coming by for an evening so that we could get away to celebrate Jonathan's 6th birthday.

During this time, we did get an answered prayer that we weren't expecting. His feedings were stopped until he was cleaned out- just had an IV. He became hungry, and saw me eating a plate of food. He would try to grab the food off of my plate and put it in his mouth- Even though he didn't know how to eat by mouth. Until this time he had such an adversity to food that he would start to gag and throw up as soon as we held a spoon to his mouth. That next Monday when he was back at school, I took some muffins for the class to celebrate Matthew's birthday. I told the teachers to let Matthew play with some muffins while the other children ate them. He actually ate them! This is an on going process, but now that he is trying foods, we are optimistic that tube feedings will one day just be a memory.

Some other great accomplishments that we are celebrating- Although he doesn't speak yet, he is learning sign language. He says "all done", "more", "please", and "touchdown" (thanks Daddy!). When I pick him up from school, he blows kisses to his teachers. He is developing socially, playing with his friends, although somewhat of a biter. And he has shown a real love for music. Put him in front of the piano and he will "play" it forever. Once he hears music on the radio or TV, he begins dancing- so sweet.

A few weeks ago, the Pastor's sermon was about "how can my life count", what we will spend our life doing. This is something I have thought about a lot. I want do many things- be a stay at home mom, climb the corporate ladder, run my own business, run another marathon, keep a clean house (not likely), be an extreme couponer... and the list goes on. I realize I won't do all of these things, and also feel that my greatest purpose is being a wife and mom (doing it for God's glory).

Therefore, whatever you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. 1 Corinthians 10:31

What I am about to say next sounds horrible, but I have dealt with guilt over Matthew. We always said we would have 2 children. My husband was happy with 2, but for some reason, I began insisting we have another. I honestly felt like someone was missing, and our family was not complete yet. Once he was born and we realized the long road ahead, I felt that it was all my fault. Why was I so extremely persistant on a 3rd child? And the truth is: If we had stopped with 2 boys, our lives would be easier, cheaper, less heart breaking, but- Our lives would not be better. Matthew teaches us patience, unconditional love, a greater understanding for the disabled, and so much more. Thank you Matthew for making our lives better.

A Thankful Heart

Colossians 3:17 And whatever you do in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

I love my embroidery machine. I love all of the great things I can create. I love that it is a source for a little extra money. But it is not all about the money.
I just finished embroidering 59 monogrammed beach towels for the staff at Reece's daycare, for their teacher appreaciation week. It turned out to be a big project, but I was happy to do it. In fact it seems like such an insignificant way to show how much I appreciate everyone on the staff. Jonathan was at this daycare from the day he was 3 months old until he want to kindergarten. Reece has been there for 4 years. And Matthew spent one year at this daycare. In fact there was about 1 year when all three boys were there. A little painful on the checkbook, but totally worth it. Not to mention, how much easier it is when they were all in the same place- now we have 3 kids in 3 different places- from one end of the county to the other.

Unfortunately, tomorrow is Reece's last day. It kinda breaks my heart. He will be going to another good preschool, which is where Jonathan is after school, and we will have 3 kids in just 2 places. Before I started monogramming their beach towels, I realized that almost every single person on the staff, has had some interaction with the boys. A few of them are like family.

Reece has been with Ms. Betty for the last 9 months. Friday he was crying as he left because he wanted to stay with Ms. Betty instead of going home. In fact, sometimes he calls me Ms. Betty.

I can't say enough for how accomodating the daycare was for Matthew. His physical and speach therapists would meet him there. When he got his button for tube feeding, they fed him with no complaints. Actually it was so much easier to tube feed him than bottle feed him. He refused to accept the bottle and the only time he would eat is when he was asleep. Ms. Melissa and myself were about the only 2 people that were able to feed him. He was given so much love from Ms. Melissa, Ms. Traci, and Ms Rosemary. It broke my heart when we moved him to another daycare that was able to meet his needs. I knew that developmentally he was going to a good place, but wondered if anyone could love him like they did.

I am not able to stay home to raise my boys, but it is so comforting to know that they have been in a great place. Thank you to all of you for making a difference in the life of a child! You are amazing.

Happy Mother's Day

I became connected with another mom, who shares a similar situation as I do- 3 little boys, and 1 with special needs. Her son is older than Matthew, and it has been comforting to hear about things I may expect in the future. One day I hope to meet her. She shared this essay with me a long time ago and it has blessed me. I am posting it here, but it comes from iveysimans.blogspot.com.

Some Mothers get Babies with Something More
by Lori Borgman
Monday, May 12, 2002

My friend is expecting her first child. People keep asking what she wants. She smiles demurely, shakes her head and gives the answer mothers have given throughout the ages of time. She says it doesn't matter whether it's a boy or a girl. She just wants it to have ten fingers and ten toes. Of course, that's what she says. That's what mothers have always said. Mothers lie.

Truth be told, every mother wants a whole lot more. Every mother wants a perfectly healthy baby with a round head, rosebud lips, button nose, beautiful eyes and satin skin.

Every mother wants a baby so gorgeous that people will pity the Gerber baby for being flat-out ugly.

Every mother wants a baby that will roll over, sit up and take those first steps right on schedule (according to the baby development chart on page 57, column two).

Every mother wants a baby that can see, hear, run, jump and fire neurons by the billions. She wants a kid that can smack the ball out of the park and do toe points that are the envy of the entire ballet class.

Call it greed if you want, but we mothers want what we want. Some mothers get babies with something more.

Some mothers get babies with conditions they can't pronounce, a spine that didn't fuse, a missing chromosome or a palette that didn't close.

Most of those mothers can remember the time, the place, the shoes they were wearing and the color of the walls in the small, suffocating room where the doctor uttered the words that took their breath away. It felt like recess in the fourth grade when you didn't see the kick ball coming and it knocked the wind clean out of you.

Some mothers leave the hospital with a healthy bundle, then, months, even years later, take him in for a routine visit, or schedule her for a well check, and crash head first into a brick wall as they bear the brunt of devastating news. It can't be possible! That doesn't run in our family. Can this really be happening in our lifetime? I am a woman who watches the Olympics for the sheer thrill of seeing finely sculpted bodies. It's not a lust thing; it's a wondrous thing. The athletes appear as specimens without flaw - rippling muscles with nary an ounce of flab or fat, virtual powerhouses of strength with lungs and limbs working in perfect harmony. Then the athlete walks over to a tote bag, rustles through the contents and pulls out an inhaler.

As I've told my own kids, be it on the way to physical therapy after a third knee surgery, or on a trip home from an echo cardiogram, there's no such thing as a perfect body.

Everybody will bear something at some time or another. Maybe the affliction will be apparent to curious eyes, or maybe it will be unseen, quietly treated with trips to the doctor, medication or surgery. The health problems our children have experienced have been minimal and manageable, so I watch with keen interest and great admiration the mothers of children with serious disabilities, and wonder how they do it. Frankly, sometimes you mothers scare me. How you lift that child in and out of a wheelchair 20 times a day.

How you monitor tests, track medications, regulate diet and serve as the gatekeeper to a hundred specialists hammering in your ear.

I wonder how you endure the clichés and the platitudes, well-intentioned souls explaining how God is at work when you've occasionally questioned if God is on strike. I even wonder how you endure schmaltzy pieces like this one -- saluting you, painting you as hero and saint, when you know you're ordinary. You snap, you bark, you bite. You didn't volunteer for this. You didn't jump up and down in the motherhood line yelling, "Choose me, God! Choose me! I've got what it takes." You're a woman who doesn't have time to step back and put things in perspective, so, please, let me do it for you.

From where I sit, you're way ahead of the pack. You've developed the strength of a draft horse while holding onto the delicacy of a daffodil. You have a heart that melts like chocolate in a glove box in July, carefully counter-balanced against the stubbornness of an Ozark mule.

You can be warm and tender one minute, and when circumstances require intense and aggressive the next. You are the mother, advocate and protector of a child with a disability.

You're a neighbor, a friend, a stranger I pass at the mall. You're the woman I sit next to at church, my cousin and my sister-in-law.

You're a woman who wanted ten fingers and ten toes, and got something more. You're a wonder.

It is about time I posted a little tidbit about the sewing side of this blog. If you have watched SewingASeed on facebook, you know that I was selling monogrammed Easter baskets. They are these really cute canvas market totes, completely collapsable, mesh pockets on the inside, 9 color options. Just awesome! I love them! I actually sold quite a few of them, in a very short amount of time.
And here is the story, behind the story...

My husband and I have taking Financial Peace University, Dave Ramsey class. It has been great for us- realizing our debt to savings ratio and realizing we have a lot of work to do. We had to put our budget on paper to see where every $ is going, it became shockingly clear that we were not tithing correctly. So, for April, I wrote the tithe check and tried not to worry about what bill we couldn't pay that month. I do believe that God does pour out blessings to those who tithe. And don't we all want to be blessed?!

Malachi 3:10 Bring all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be food in My house, and try Me now in this, Says the Lord of hosts, "If I will not open for you the windows of heaven and pour out for the such blessing that there will not be room enough to receive it."

About a week after I wrote that check a friend of mine asked me if I could make some monogrammed easter baskets that she saw elsewhere. I found the wholesale site, and ordered some. I then posted the monogrammed Easter baskets at various places. I hoped to sell 40 in order to bring in some extra $. I sold over 125! Only a fool would not give God the glory.
And just in case you didn't get your basket yet, they are still for sale. They have a million uses- here are just a few.

*Baby gift- get the baby's name monogrammed on the tote, and fill it will diapers, wipes, and all that good baby stuff.

*Wedding gift- embroider with the happy couples new last name, and fill with some items for a picnic

*Graduation gift- have the graduate's name using the school colors on the basket and fill with monogrammmed towels.

*Teacher Appreciation- embroider the teacher's name and fill with fun school supplies

Can you hear me now...Good.

Matthew's last appointment at the Children's Hospital was a check up with audiology and the ear/nose/throat doctor. With just one ear, we want to do everything we can to protect his hearing. He got a tube in his ear last April 2010 and a few months later had a hearing test at audiology. They concluded that he has slight hearing loss. I refuse to accept that, but believe it is rather his reactions to the way hearing is tested. Trust me- this boy knows his mama's voice!

And so this past Jan. his hearing is tested again. We go into this tiny storm shelter type of room. He is sitting on my lap and facing a nurse who is using toys and books to capture his attention. Meanwhile there is another nurse behind a 2 way mirror who will speak or make noises that will come through speakers in the room, either on his right or his left. They are watching for his reaction to her noises. Maybe with Agenesis of the Corpus Callosum, it may take longer for his brain to process information. So even if he can hear, does that mean he will show a reaction to this lady's voice?

An interesting thing happened. As she would make noises, he would show little or no reaction. Keep in mind, there is someone if front of him trying to keep his attention on her. But when she would say his name, "Matthew" he would look for her voice. Kind of makes you wonder if he is really smarter than we are, and knows it is not worth his time to react to every noise if he doesn't think it is directed towards him.

But also made me think about all the times I desparately want to hear a word from God, and expect to audibly hear Him saying my name, all the while missing all of those "noises" that He is using to speak to me. As a wise man often says to me- "Faith comes from hearing, and hearing by the WORD OF GOD" (Romans 10:17) Want to hear God's voice? Read the Bible.

They concluded that he can hear, and would test it again in about 6 months. So we had a few hours until his ENT apt, and went to the hospital cafeteria. Pretty good food and has large windows that overlook the state capital. As we were eating, Matthew's twin sister sat down at the table next to us. This sweet little girl about his age, with white blond hair, also missing one ear.

We spent some time outside and you can see Matthew enjoying the waterfall.

Finally time to see the ENT doctor. Our big concern being that he has had an ear infection pretty much everyday since October. The tube he got in April was obviously gone, and he needs a new one.

Daddy and Matthew are ready for the doctor

Still waiting for the doctor

And the doctor did come. He sees hundreds, maybe thousands of kids- but he remembered Matthew. He said "this is the baby that would only eat while he was sleeping". And more than once he commented on how much Matthew has progressed, how good he is doing. Still brings a little tear to my eye. Of course it would be perfect if he was developing at the same rate as his peers, but really he has come so far, and made huge strides. He inspires me.

Matthew will be getting a tube in his ear on Tuesday, also removing his adnoids, and doing a CT scan to understand if he has an inner ear on his right side. Right before he wakes up, his feeding button will be removed and a new one put in (hopefully one that doesn't leak!) As any mama would be- I am a little anxious. Please pray for the doctors and anathesiologist and of course Matthew.

Call to Me and I will answer you, and I will tell you great and mighty things which you do not know. Jeremiah 33:3

Patience

I have a quiet, relaxed personality. I don't get over excited about much of anything. A friend of mine once told me that I have the Patience of Job. I can't say that I have ever experienced anything near what Job did. But I have a couple of boys that could test anyone's patience! (just kidding- they are angels.)

I don't think I understood patience until Matthew was born. We knew Matthew may have delayed development, but we were not sure what that meant. As a mother, you watch for every milestone that your newborn meets and you proudly announce to the world that your child is more advanced than 90% of the babies his age.

When Matthew didn't cry until he was 1 month old, I guess I should have figured that all other milestones would be delayed. I kept watching for him to smile at me. I knew that would usually come around 5 weeks. But that day came and went. I think he was nearly 3 months old before I saw a slight smile. During that time, we dind't know what to expect. If he isn't meeting milestones, then what will his future be? There was a part of me that wasn't ready to accept his delay. If I accepted the fact that he is delayed, then I would have to come to terms with the fact he wouldn't fit into society's understanding of "normal". But now I ask, what really is normal?

Over time, we realized that Matthew is meeting milestones, but he is on his own schedule. Knowing this, we have no reason to believe he will not meet a milestone, but we just do not know when. We must have patience.

Be assured and understand that the trial and proving of your faith bring out endurance and steadfastness and patience. James 1:3

I do believe that most of his delays are related to his low muscle tone. You take for granted how much muscle it takes to just hold up your head. The muscles around his eyes were also weak, and he didn't focus or make eye contact with me until he was about 3 1/2 months old. I think he was about 6 months old when he was able to roll over. It was 13 months before he coudl sit up.

Swallowing was extremely difficult for Matthew due to the muscle in his esophagus. He may not have completely mastered swallowing, but he is doing much better. You can't survive without swallowing, and he had so much trouble with the bottle, that he did eventually get a button for tube feeding. We know it is temporary and he will eat by mouth, we just don't know when.

Friends of mine have babies who are younger than Matthew, and they have been walking for a while. I have to remind myself that Matthew is so unique and he is not going to follow the same schedule as his peers. He mastered army crawling when he was nearly 10 months old, but wasn't quite strong enough to lift up his body and crawl with his knees. Unfortunately, with his belly on the ground, his button would pop open, and he would leave a trail of milk behind him.

Every milestone is a huge celebration. He did start crawling a month ago. I will never forget the feeling when I saw it for the first time. Amazing!

(It took me forever to post this because I was trying to up load a video of him crawling, but can't figure out the video, so you will just have to look at these still photos and imagine him crawling)

I waited patiently for the Lord, he turned to me and heard my cry. Psalm 40:1

Every creature of God is good

The other day, Matthew and I were at the fabric store. If you ever need to find me, you may want to try a fabric store. All of a sudden, this woman came out of nowhere and said, "what happened to his ear?" I could feel my face getting red. I was angry. Why was she asking this? Was it really important to her to understand why he doesn't have an ear? Does she ask questions of every handicapped person that she sees? She then said that she is a nurse. I have no idea what being a nurse has to do with being nosey of a child's handicap. What if I asked her what happened to her waistline, and I needed to know because I used to be a runner...



I have had this question by little kids, and it makes sense, because they are taught that people have 2 eyes, 2 ears, a mouth and a nose. When I simply explain that God made him this way, they find that acceptable and move on.



We have been to the Children's Hospital in Little Rock a lot in the past 18 months. Every time I go there I am humbled. Some children are dealing with some very serious stuff. None of us should take for granted what we have. When we are at the Children's Hospital, people don't stare. They don't act strange when Matthew gets excited and his head bobbles. They smile. They have a look of understanding in their eyes and they smile.



Something to think about the next time you see a handicapped person. They are just like you and me. Everyone of us has issues, some are just more visibly obvious than others. We are all children of God and special in His eyes. No person chooses to be handicapped, and no parent prays to God that they will have a child with special needs, continuous doctor appointments, expensive therapies, and physical and social challenges.

Every creature of God is good. 1 Timothy 4:4

I know some of you are curious about Matthew's progress. All you have to say is, "do you mind if I ask you about Matthew?" And I would be happy to tell you about all of the great things he is doing.

Christmas Stockings

The countdown is on! Only 55 more days until Christmas, my most favorite holiday. I usually start decorating the day after Halloween, so we have time to really enjoy it. I am so excited about my personalized Christmas Stockings. They come in two styles: a traditional shape, and a high heeled boot. I can make them in whatever colors you want, but the most common color combinations are shown below. Most have a velvet and suede fabric combination with beautiful beaded trim. And they are so special- because they are presonalized, with your name. No one else will have a stocking quite like yours!

I think the boot turned out amazing! Of course it can also be done in many other color combinations. I am also working on a leopard print boot.

If you are in the Northwest Arkansas area, please stop by Signed, Sealed, and Delivered next Sunday, Nov.7th for their Christmas open house. I will be there, taking orders for personalized Christmas Stockings and a few other great items. See you there!

(If you aren't in the area, and want your own stocking, just contact me directly.)

One of a Kind

When Matthew was born, one of the many tests that he had, was a chromosome test. He was about 2 weeks old when we received the phone call saying that Matthew has an extra chromosome, and we would meet with the geneticist in about 3 months. They didn't give us a lot of details, except that the extra chromosome has a piece of 7 and 8 on it. The most well known extra chromosome is down syndrome, or trisomy 21, meaning that the extra chromosome has attached to pair 21. As a parent, I wanted to know what Matthew might be dealing with so I googled "trisomy 7" and found out that there are no live cases of trisomy 7, all would miscarry. Not always a good idea to search the internet for answers.

We finally met with the geneticist. He asked what questions we had. We wanted to know what Matthew's syndrome was called, what other kids like him dealt with, and what his mental capacity would be. The doctor explained that the extra chromosome had a piece of 7, 8, and 22 that had fromed 1 chromosome, but it was not attached to a pair, just hanging out by itself. Then he explained that there is a data bank holding the information for all chromosome disorders in the entire world. There is not a single match to Matthew. In the entire world! So the doctor could not answer any of our questions, but we actually found that to be good news. We can't compare him to anyone else, so he has no limitations.

Before Matthew was born, I heard someone say that "all children belong to God. We just get to take care of them." Matthew may not be like anyone else, but he is a child of God. Even though we don't really know what lies ahead, I am honored that God gave him to us.

Sometimes it doesn't make sense. Why wouldn't God make all children perfect and healthy. Why would a child ever have to suffer? And why would a baby's life on earth end too soon, while her family and hundreds of people were praying for her? My cousin's sweet 7 week old baby girl went to heaven last Friday, due to complications with heart surgery. At her funeral this morning, the pastor read this verse:

Psalm 139: 13-16. For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother's womb. I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made, marvelous are your works, and that my soul knows very well. My frame was not hidden from You, when I was made in secret, and skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, the days fashioned for me, when as yet there were none of them.

God knows what Matthew is going through- He made Matthew. And God knew all about sweet Hadley. We may never comprehend God's plan in times like this, but we must trust that He has a plan. In Hadley's short 7 weeks on this earth she has had an impact on more people than most of us do in our entire lives.

Hadley's life is shared at hdstones.blogspot.com. Please pray for her parents and family to find strength and comfort.

Silence

Matthew was born 6/22/09. It was a scheduled C section. By the time this day came, I was fairly confident that God had worked a miracle and Matthew would be perfect in every way. Wouldn't that be the perfect story of the power of prayer. What a great testimony I could share with everyone. In a C section, you can not see anything that is going on, but you can hear everything. I can still remember the most beautiful sound in the world when Reece was born by C Section- I couldn't see that he was born, but I heard him cry! Amazing! It is hard for words to describe. As Matthew's C Section began I was ready, waiting for that cry. waiting. And then I knew he was out.

Silence... I strained to hear anything, just silence...

Then the silence was broken by the doctor "where is the pediatrician! this baby has issues!" I saw the nurses take him over to the warm table to clean him up, and I heard a tiny little moan. That was it. Just a moan. As the doctor fixed me up, I asked JD if Matthew looked ok. He said yes. As my doctor was finishing me, he said rather matter of factly that the baby was missing an ear and that is not something that you would ever see on a sonogram. Isn't it crazy that a sonogram can pick up the slightest piece of a brain that does not exist, but can not see the absense of an ear.

When the pediatrician saw Matthew in the nursery, he was taken to the NICU, where he would spend the next 7 days. They ran numerous tests on him in his first 2 days, he had wires everywhere; oxygen, IV fluid, heart rate monitors. At one point they tested him for seizures and placed wires underneath the skin around his head, for 24 hours. They checked all of his internal organs, eye sight, hearing. It breaks any mother's heart to see her baby connected to that many wires. He had an MRI done on his brain. They even took blood to check for any chromosonal abnormalities.

After a few days, my hosptial stay was up, I could go home. But how can a mom go home and leave her baby? I couldn't make logical sense of it. He had to stay. He was not eating well, not gaining weight. I later realized that it was his difficulty to swallow which caused feeding to be such a struggle. Feeding never did get easier, but eventually he did gain enough weight to be sent home. My mom and I thought that once the IV fluid was removed, he would experience hunger and cry. He didn't. In fact he didn't really cry until he was a month old. Silence is an interesting thing. Sometimes God uses silence to get our attention. Once everything is completely quiet we finally listen to Him.

I like this verse from Ecclesiastes 3:1,7- To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven...A time to tear, And a time to SEW, A time to keep SILENCE, And a time to speak.

God definately had my attention. He has the power to do anything. Nothing is impossible, so why didn't he heal Matthew? Maybe my testimony isn't quite complete yet. Maybe God wants more from me. I don't know God's plan for Matthew, but I do still believe in miraculous healing. God didn't heal Matthew (at least not yet!)

personalized treat bags

Halloween is going to be here soon. Although Halloween is not my favorite holiday (Christmas is!), who doesn't love an excuse to eat candy and dress up!! I am really excited about my newest creation. I have monogrammed little tote bags with "trick or treat" on one side and the child's name can be on the other side. The bags are 8" wide by 7" tall. They may be a little small for the serious candy collectors, but the perfect size for a little personalized gift bag.

You can find them at Signed, Sealed, and Delivered in Rogers, AR. They have just about anything you would ever need to decorate your home for the holiday or any day. My personalized loveys are also available at Signed, Sealed, and Delivered. Check it out!

the day my world stopped

The day was February 23, 2009. It is a day I will never forget. It was a Monday, but I was not at work- I had actually just lost my job and found myself unemployed and not sure what to do with my first day at home. Jonathan and Reece were at daycare, and I was 5 months pregnant with our third boy.

Then. The phone rang. It was my doctor. I heard him saying that there was a problem with the sonogram. The baby was missing a piece of his brain. It's called Agenesis of the Corpus Callosum. He didn't know what it was, and told me I could google it. I learned that it is a piece connecting both hemispheres of the brain and transfers information. It only forms between 5 and 16 wks gestation. Symptoms could include low muscle tone, difficulty swallowing, low perception of pain, seizures, facial abnormalities, vision and hearing impairments, mental retardation.


What! Why! What do I do. My husband was headed out of town for work for 2 days. He stopped by on his way, gave me a big hug, and told me that there was nothing we did to cause this. It might be easy to say that, but very hard to believe that. I spent the next 4 months trying to figure out what I did, what I ate or drank, or what I was exposed to. As that day came to an end- a stranger knocked on our door to tell me that our cat had been run over.

The next week we went to Little Rock for a specialized sonogram. They were concerned about the large size of his head, and extra space in his brain that could be hydrocephalus. The next sonogram would be in 10 weeks, where they would decide if we needed to deliver close to the Children's Hospital or if it could be done closer to home.

I am so glad that I had maternity photos taken. Most mothers look back at their maternity photos and remember how happy and joyous the whole experience was. When I look at those photos I remember being on my knees, praying, asking God for a miracle. God had my attention, and I could not have made it through this without trusting Him.

Finally it was time for the second sonogram. The corpus callosum that I had prayed to miraculously appear was still absent. But the doctor was not concerned about the extra space and determined that we would not need to deliver in Little Rock. And that was still great news to us. At that moment we decided to call him Matthew- "a gift from God".

The future was still so unknown, but I found comfort in this verse:

Psalm 139:7-10. Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence? If I ascend into heaven, You are there. If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there. If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there Your hand shall lead me, and Your right hand shall hold me.

sewing a seed- what is that?

What is sewing a seed? It has several meanings to me. I love, love, love to sew and create things. For years I have been doing anything from hemming pants, to designing and hand sewing wedding gowns. Last March, I finally took a leap and created my own sewing business "Sewing A Seed", which specializes in custom sewing and monogramming. Here are a couple photos of my baby loveys. They are made from soft minky fabric and ribbon strips. Of course they can be personalized for any baby. Babies really love the soft fabric and the textures of the ribbons. I can make just about any color combination that you want.

But Sewing A Seed means more to me than just literally sewing. As a mother of 3 boys, I am responsible for raising them to the best of my ability, with God's guidance. They are like little seeds and everyday I have to stop and praise God as I see them growing up before my eyes.

I have never blogged before, but it is time to start. I have too much to say and too much to be thankful for. I will be sharing experiences from my sewing business and being a mommy. Please check back. I will be posting again soon.

2 Corinthians 9:6. But this I say, he which soweth sparingly shall also reap sparingly, but he which soweth bountifully shall reap bountifully.